I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
