when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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