Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
