this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
