if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
