my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
