you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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