ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
