He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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