this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
