There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
