if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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