she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
