Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
