I think I died a long time ago.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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