I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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