She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize