It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
