I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
