the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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