Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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