It's like God shit irony all over that family
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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