How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
