omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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