Someone shit on the floor
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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