he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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