Bisexual people are plain selfish.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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