Nicole vs. Life
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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