The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
