I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
