I cannot find my penis.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
