At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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