Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
