yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
