I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
