I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
