She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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