Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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