it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize