I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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