I like my sex mixed with concussions.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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