I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
