no, he came in my armpit
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize