your parents love me but you hate me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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