Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
