marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
