I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Green mimosas i think yes
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
