What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
