fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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