I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
