It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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