I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
