Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you will always have a special place in my vag
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
