I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
