I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
