He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
