it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
