I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
