This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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